And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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