You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
