Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
