Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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