haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
A bitchslap is in order.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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