i think my mom watched the whole time
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your topless pictures make me question reality
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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