K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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