my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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