My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
