I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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