i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wish i was in the wii world.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
