he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
