just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
