me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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