Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize