I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
