at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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