I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
