How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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