If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
