just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
