New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
