idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize