oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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