I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
