don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
