i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He shit in the fireplace
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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