You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
