I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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