When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
