VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize