before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
