Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
