frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize