Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
