May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
