Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
