D3 body, D1 cock
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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