It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
