are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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