youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
