I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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