Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
