For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
