can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
