from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
