Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
