You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
