Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have feelings that need drinking.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
