I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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