Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
