every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
