So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize