I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
