she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
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