Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
