i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
