She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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