Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Pants are for mortals
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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